Falling into the routine

It has been awhile, friends. We have lots to talk about it, so pull up a chair and get comfortable!  I have missed you and missed the blog, but every time I sit down to write, it seems like something quickly grabs my attention in another direction.  Anyway, I think I needed to refocus for a little while in order to adjust to being back into my everyday routine, or figuring out what that means these days.  It shifts every day, but there are some constants.  Family and friends. Prayers and gratitude.  Exercise and a focus on health.  And continuing doctor appointments.

Let's pick up with the medical aspect of this blog first. I have had several doctor's appointments since I last wrote.  All have been routine, none unexpected or urgent.  I met with my radiation oncologist for the final time, which was bittersweet.  It is certainly fantastic to be able to close a major treatment chapter, but everyone in that office is so wonderfully nice and they have become friends, so there was a twinge of sadness in saying goodbye...because honestly, I don't think I will ever see many of them again, unless we run into each other elsewhere.  I am finished with radiation and won't need to go back.

I also met with my plastic surgeon.  His office is also filled with wonderful people, but that is not a closing chapter at this time.  I will need a minor follow-up surgery in the spring, and he wants to see me at least twice before that surgery to keep an eye on my post-radiation progress.  Tissue damage can continue for up to six months, so surgery certainly cannot happen until that time frame passes, but we can't even be certain exactly what will need to happen until we see the extent of the damage.  So it's a wait-and-see game at this point.  Which is actually fine by me--I am in no rush to go into surgery again.

I met with an Austin-based oncologist so I will have a doctor close to home and also have an office to visit for my monthly Lupron injection.  This doctor studied under my primary oncologist and is a wonderful doctor as well.  It gives me additional peace of mind to know there's a place I can go if I need to see someone in a rush. He also runs slightly more comprehensive blood panels and requires an annual chest x-ray, so those are minor things to add to my list.

Without going into too much detail, the calcium level from my blood test run in Houston in late August came back elevated.  Which didn't faze me at first.  I was a little perplexed as to why the online results kept stating the level was retested...and retested again...and then the nurse contacted me and said we really should get that checked, which set off the alarm bells.  I turned to my alarmist outlet, Google, and quickly learned that elevated calcium can indicate bone metastasis, and we had just learned from my oncologist that when breast cancer metastasizes, it goes to the bones about 70% of the time.  I will admit that some minor panic set in, but I can balance what Google tells me with rational thinking some of the time, and luckily this was one of those times.  I had been taking a calcium supplement because I am worried about the effects of forced menopause on my bone density.  I'm not ready to start breaking hips, y'all.  Anyway, I knew that the supplement probably had something to do with the level of calcium, especially since I get plenty of calcium in my diet.  So I stopped the supp for a week, and lo and behold, my calcium was 100% normal.  Major relief, and also a lesson in how every health-related thing that is slightly "off" is going to make me nervous for awhile.

I am tolerating the Lupron and Letrozole fairly well, I think.  Hot flashes are not my favorite, but they usually pass quickly and I am pretty accustomed to them by now.  I do have stiff joints from the Letrozole, which is common, but it just takes me about ten seconds to straighten up after I have been sitting or sleeping.  Which makes for some funny movie-exiting posture. These are minor things which are not disrupting my life, and I am thankful for the minimal side effects of these powerful medications.  I'm sweaty and stiff, and grateful to be alive!

And I have felt very alive lately....life has definitely been full!  We have done so many wonderful things...my son started pre-K...a quick trip to Colorado...a family celebration of my mother-in-law's 70th birthday...ACL festival...piano/soccer/drama lessons and the never ending taxi services these things require...many fun gatherings with family and friends.  Life is very, very good.

October was interesting this year as it is quite obviously Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  I mean, it was very noticeable to me in past years.  And now, well, it's definitely moved to another level.  Obviously, I am ever so much more "aware" than I have been in the past.  That's such an understatement!  I guess there is also a desire/need/requirement to assist in the raising awareness part. I still feel pretty fresh from the fight, so to speak, so I realize perhaps I am not quite able to mentor or assist at a level that I hope to someday. But perhaps because of this new survivor status, some pretty amazing opportunities have fallen into my lap this year.  Let's just say I have been crying lots of tears of gratitude lately.  The kindness of people can be amazing and, frankly, overwhelming at times.

At the end of September, my parents and I traveled to Houston not for doctor visits, but to attend the Stilletto Strut luncheon. My mother-in-law invited us to be her guest at the event, which raised funds for the Lester and Sue Smith Breast Center and honored my oncologist.

Which was wonderful and fabulous unto itself, but then through a series of emails, I also had the honor of walking the runway as a survivor/patient of the clinic.  I shared the stage with six other survivors and met some really amazing women in the process.

The luncheon was a huge success, raising lots of money for research and certainly spreading awareness of the excellent work the Smith Center is doing.

I have been emailing/facebooking with a few of them since the event and am thankful for these new friendships.  One of the co-chairs of the luncheon even ran the Houston Race for the Cure in my honor!

I have attended Pure Barre classes at the studio in my neighborhood since they opened four years ago, and have gotten to know and love the instructors and other ladies attending classes alongside me.  I have been thrilled to be back at the barre after my surgery, and the support and encouragement I have felt from this group throughout chemo, surgery, recovery has been amazing...but they really shocked me with this enormous honor:

They raised money for the Breast Cancer Resources Center at the Austin studio and the Lester and Sue Smith Center at the Houston studio.  When you donated, you could add names of people who are survivors, fighters, or have lost their battle to a collage on the studio window.  They put my name right in the middle!  And they had the above email framed and on display, which made me feell like a Oure Barre celeb! Along with the fundraising, there was a  "Tuck for Tatas" (20 classes in 25 days) challenge, which I am proud to say I completed in 22 days, along with a special class specifically to fundraiser for BCRC. My friends Kathy, Ginny, Wendi & Suzi were there for the advanced class, which was really fun...especially because we wore pink tutus!

I adore Rashanna and Kathryn from Pure Barre. I think the requirements to be a PB instructor are as follows: be in perfect shape, be stunningly gorgeous, be amazingly kind.

Suzi braved an advanced class for her first PB experience! I love her!

Anyway, I am overwhelmed by the kindness of so many.  I can't imagine what I would have thought one year ago, if I could have glimpsed into how much my life has changed in less than a year.  But I can tell you, I appreciate the love and support I have received from everyone and could not have made it this far in this positive manner without it!

As a little preview of the next blog post, I'll leave you with a glimpse of our morning at Race for the Cure today...here is a good portion of Team Shelly:

What an amazing group of family and friends. I am so blessed!

A fresh start

I've been putting off writing this post, not because of any particular reason or event. Well, except for the busy-ness of everyday life. I just keep pushing it to the back burner, thinking about writing and then running off to attend to some aspect of my normal back-to-school life, now that I'm back with my family in Austin.

I also worry that I don't have enough to report, or that it will seem disjointed, or that I need to have a more concrete event to cover. Except that I did return to Houston last week to visit with my oncologist, and beyond cancer (or in my case, the end of it!), there have been other interesting things going on that I'd love to share.

So here I am, finally sitting down to blog about appointments and other hodgepodge aspects of life that happen when I'm not receiving treatment, seeing a doctor or otherwise obsessing about my health.  Honestly, my well-being has become somewhat of an obsession over the past eight months, which was such a shift from caring for small children and focusing almost entirely on their well-being.  Now, I'm trying to figure out how to shift back into my normal life while also maintaining this newly-heightened focus on my own health and self-care, because it really will need to be an ongoing theme in my life. 

Seeing my oncologist confirmed this. From now on, I only go in for check-ups every six months.  When he told me I would see him in six months, I have to admit, it was a combination of mixed emotions on my end.  Exciting and frightening. His reasoning for the considerable time between appointments is that he prefers cancer not to be at the constant forefront of my thoughts, and coming in to his office more often would not allow my mind to gradually wander away from it. And rather than ordering numerous scans and tests, we will rely somewhat on twice-annual blood tests and exams, but mainly on my own vigilance with unusual symptoms.  This will take some getting used to, as I had some dizziness combined with a headache a few weeks ago and had pretty much convinced myself I had a brain tumor.  Of course it went away after a few days, and what I need to watch for will be symptoms that persist or worsen over the course of a week or two.  I'm afraid that every little ache and pain will heighten me to a code-red state, but I don't think there's any way to avoid that, at least as I transition into this next phase.

I will continue on with the monthly Lupron injection in conjunction with the daily Letrozole.  The symptoms from these drugs really aren't much different that what I was already experiencing after chemo.  The hot flashes haven't gotten much worse and while my joints get stiff, it doesn't last more than 20-30 seconds at this point.  So far, it's all very manageable.  In addition to the meds, twice a day I take large handfuls of "horse pills"--various vitamins and supplements that will hopefully help keep me in the "healthy survivor" category or at least encourage optimum health. And of course, a very clean and healthy diet and regular exercise are part of the plan.

But the plan is also just enjoying being at home.  Sometimes "enjoying" might be a stretch…for example, as we rush out the door to get to school, and backpacks and lunches have been forgotten, and everybodygetinthecarRIGHTnow --well, it's kind of organized chaos. But luckily that isn't the norm and mainly it's been wonderful to be back in my routine.  Reese has started third grade, and I have the feeling that she is going to have a fantastic year.  Weston begins his final year of preschool this week, and again--I have a great feeling about this year for him as well.  While we kind of have one foot in the school year and another still in summer, it's hard not to be excited about the opportunities and promise that the fresh start of a new school year brings.  I have a whole new appreciation for fresh starts this year!

On that note, it is also helpful to think back on the happy memories we have made at times. Reese had an absolutely wonderful first camp experience.  She drew the tribe she wanted, she made great friends, she explored, learned more about herself and generally had a blast.  Weston was an only child for a couple weeks and adapted just fine.  He was happy to see her, despite appearances below….

The first day of school.  She was excited and ready to go!  That's my girl.

Weston and I have had some nice relaxed time together, for which I am grateful.  

I've gotten back to my regular walks (with friends and on my own), and made a few of the Pure Barre classes that I love, including one with the fabulous Kathryn.  She has been a wonderful support during my treatment and I was thrilled to be back in her class!

And of course, time with my great friends.  I met up with some of my high school and college friends--Erin, Monique, Ashley and Cathleen--for dinner.  I always cherish our time together and was glad to get back into the regular GNO schedule after a crazy summer.

And Suzi and I finally got together for lunch.  We met at this great tea restaurant for our first lunch together back in January, when we were both on the evil AC chemo regimen.  We were both nervously wearing our wigs in those early weeks, pale and slightly nauseous from chemo aftershocks.  So it was fitting we returned to the same restaurant to celebrate that both of us are done with treatments (minus a very minor follow up surgery for both of us--Suzi on Wednesday and me next spring, most likely) and have a little bit of fuzzy hair.  It was great for us to catch up and gab away.  I am sure the man dining solo next to us walked away shocked if he was eavesdropping!

This week, my baby boy goes back to preschool, and then we can truly say we are started into the school year.

Next week, I return to Houston to have my final meeting with the radiation oncologist and another follow up with my plastic surgeon.  Hopefully, both will go well and I will know when my final "touchup" surgery will occur.  I will update again shortly after these appointments! Hears to fresh starts!

Radiation wrap up

Before I get too far out from the end of my radiation experience, I want to acknowledge the absolutely amazing people who cared for me and guided me through this process.

I have the highest regard for my radiation oncologist, Dr. Lu.  She never made us feel rushed during our weekly appointments, taking her time to thoroughly answer every question we had and explain all aspects of the treatment in thoughtful and understandable ways.  She is wonderful!

The man and women who administered the radiation were thoroughly professional and kind and fun!  What a perfect combo for people you will be seeing on a daily basis for seven weeks!  I looked forward to talking with them each day!  Luis had already left for vacation and I didn't get a pic with Rachel, but here I am with Mindy and Jamie.  Lovely ladies who made this process so much more pleasant!

This is me with the big honking machine that sends the radiation into my body.  There's a bench behind me, on which I would lie verrrrry still. Learned the hard way once that you do NOT move once you are in position!  Anyway, the machine moves around you and the bench slides this way and that under the machine.  It's really quite amazing and I'm not explaining it very well.  Suffice it to say, this is some very high tech medical equipment!

Mom and Dad came down to Houston with me several of the seven weeks, to help me get around and keep me company, which was so appreciated. Sometimes you just want your mom and dad, even when you are 39! They were definitely there for the bell ringing, along with my aunt Melissa.  What a blessing to have such supportive and loving family!  I can't imagine doing this alone.  And a big thank you to my in laws for watching the kids in Austin the final week of treatment so my parents could be with me.  Both sets of grandparents and several of my aunts and my cousin were all a huge help in watching the kids, along with our super-nanny (more on her in a minute!)...THANK YOU everyone!

Every week I would visit with Dr. Lu and her fantastic nurses, Natalie and Patrick. Again, considerate and friendly people.  I think that's an overall theme at this office--everyone is truly so nice!

Another pic of me and Natalie, this time with Marisa, one of the fantastic women who greeted me every day at the front desk.  Marisa and Veronica always set the tone with their friendly hellos, and they made me feel so especially great when I ditched the wig/scarf and braved the short hair last week.  What lovely people!  

As you can tell, my experience with the people in charge of my radiation was outstanding. Everyone was kind, thorough, intelligent, thoughtful.  I couldn't have asked for a better group with which to work!  And I am certain there are zero remaining cancer cells in my left chest region.  There's no way they survived!

The hardest part physically has been the recovery from the boost, or the final week of radiation directed at my incision sites.  I sailed through the other six weeks of overall radiation fairly easily, with only a bit of itchy red skin.  However, my boost sites are pretty angry looking.  Itchy, extremely red, peeling, painful.  They told me it might get worse this week before it gets better.  The radiation can actually continue to work for up to two weeks after the final treatment!  But hopefully I will start to see some healing soon....

The hardest part overall was leaving the kids each week.  I definitely missed David as well, but we have some experience being apart for a few weeks at a time due to his work.  This was the longest I was away for the kids!

My family and David's family helped us tremendously, as I mentioned.  We also were so blessed to find the amazing Kate as our summer nanny!  She took excellent care of them, helped them get to and from their summer activities and numerous play dates, planned super fun outings, and even came down to Houston with us for a few days.  Helping the kids keep their normal schedules and remain in their home routine made an enormous difference in how they managed what was a somewhat scary and certainly different summer.  We adore her and think the world of her!  And the kids absolutely love her, as you can see.....

Best of luck getting your MBA, Kate!

Since I've been back, a lot has happened!  David came home too--yippee!  We took Reese to overnight summer camp for the first time.  While it was hard to be apart so much this summer, it has certainly prepared her to stay away from home.  She was a little nervous but mainly so very excited.  It was so fun to take her, set her up and see her off into this amazing adventure!

I've been obsessively checking the camp website for pictures and she seems to be pretty happy in all of them so far, which of course makes my heart soar!  We will get the full story next week when she comes home, but I expect it will be an excellent report.

There are three other precious Austin girls in her cabin, and we got the girls together several times before camp started.  The girls all get along great and it helped Reese tremendously to already have friends going into camp.  And the moms are all so fun, it's been an awesome bonus to have three fun new friends!  We went to a post-drop-off dinner on Monday and had a blast!

That's really all for now.  I'm settling into the routine of daily tasks at home again, and it did strike me as odd to be running errands in Austin on a weekday yesterday.  My experience in Houston was wonderful but I'm very happy to be home!

DONE!

As of today, I have officially completed the three major cancer treatments: chemo, surgery and radiation!   I wrapped up my 33rd radiation session, which was #5 of the boost sequence to kill any stray cancer cells that may have transferred as a result of physical contact during surgery.  

I have crossed the finish line on my "treatment triathlon," and can begin easing back into normal life!  But just like a true triathlete, I must continue with training and upkeep exercises. In my case, this will consist of taking monthly Lupron injections and daily Letrozole pills, visiting my doctors and surgeons regularly, and remaining vigilant about my health, diet and exercise included.

 

I will religiously fill my medication boxes each week and take the necessary and selected medicines and supplements to optimize health.  I will nervously watch and report any and every little symptom, no doubt.  I will take the best possible care of my body. I will maintain my faith and pray for continued best results.  

I've been asked if I will maintain this blog.  The answer is yes, absolutely.  If you have any interest in checking in on how the rest of this journey unfolds, please feel free to keep visiting.  If you were most interested in how I got through the "big three" of treatment, then I will wrap that up in the next few weeks.  I am planning to post a detailed summary of each component, mainly to utilize my memory and document what happened, what helped, what didn't, what to expect, what to avoid, etc.  If I can be helpful to anyone else trudging along this path, I would be thrilled.  Those posts will come up soon. I want to devote a more in-depth post to my day today and the wonderful people that have made it happen. I will also update after appointments (of which there will be many), after events (luncheons, 5Ks, etc), and possibly just to process some of my thoughts and feelings. Whether you continue to visit or not, thank you.  Thank you for reading about my treatment, thank you for praying for me and my family, thank you for your positive words, your questions and your support.

At the beginning of this journey, I felt that I was brave...but also scared and wary.  Understandably.  Now, I know I am brave and strong.  And still a little scared and wary.  Who can tell what the future holds?  But I've learned so much about determination and acquiescence, about prayers and positive thought, about willpower and love. And for now, that is enough. 

That, and the sound of ringing bells!

Next to last!

Only one more week of radiation! Hip hip hooray!

Last week went mainly well. Radiation was just fine. I'm a little red and itchy where I've been zapped, like a sunburn. I'm a little tired, but nothing like chemo. They finished radiating the overall area of the left breast af neck, and this coming week they will focus radiation on the incisions from my surgery, in case any cancer cellswere  transferred as they removed the tissue. They call this a "boost," and I'm more than happy to have it, honestly. My drain sites were already boosted a few weeks ago. All in all, radiation has gone smoothly and is a treatment for which I'm very grateful.

We continued to eat our way through Houston! I met up with my sorority sister Stephanie and her three precious daughters, Kate, Callie and Maggie. Her girls are well-spoken, thoughtful and friendly...just like their lovely mama! Our lunch was definitely a highlight of my week!

We had many other wonderful meals: including Ouisies with family and El Tiempo with my new friend Andrea and her daughter Shelby. Andrea finished her radiation on Friday and is home in LA, finished with treatments! Congrats to this sweet lady.

I had my first lymphedema scare on Thursday. David so thoughtfully bought a gorgeous new band after my surgery/for my birthday and possibly every other major holiday for the next few years! Any way, it was ready so I gladly picked it up, stacking it on top of my wedding band:

Then I foolishly stacked my engagement ring on and immediately knew I made a mistake. We tried everything but my ginger kept swelling and my surgeon instructed me to go to the jeweler and have it cut off.  We did that and sent on our way, only realizing that my wedding band was getting tighter about an hour after we left, so back we went...

Ouch! 

Deutsch & Deutsch were wonderful and treated us so well throughout the whole harrowig process. I'm so grateful they were able to get to the rings off but am also sad that my rings look like this now...

Oh well. I learned to be more careful and also learned I am terrified of lymphedema. Adjustments have to be made along the way and I will chalk this up to a learning experience.

We are en route to start my FINAL WEEK OF TREATMENT! It has a nice ring (pun intended) to it!

As my father in law pointed out, I found a lump 212 days ago. Now, I'm in my final five days of treatment. What a journey it's been!

Save the date!

Hello family and friends!

I'd like to invite you to join Team Shelly as we race (or walk!) for a breast cancer cure in the The Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5K on November 16, 2014 in Austin. We will wear coordinating Team Shelly t-shirts and walk together, unless you'd prefer to run.  Afterward, we will coordinate a fun celebratory get together, details TBD. 

Please join me for my first year as a Team Captain and my first year of MANY as a SURVIVOR raising funds to fight breast cancer!

Early bird registration only lasts until July 31st, so if you act quickly, you can save a little bit on the registration fee.  Please follow the link below to join my team and help us beat breast cancer!

http://austin.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/AUS_AustinAffiliate?team_id=304560&pg=team&fr_id=4557

With love,
Shelly Bain

Trucking along

The past two weeks have sped along.  I am getting into a predictable treatment schedule, leaving Austin midday on Monday, having treatments in Houston throughout the week, culminating in an early treatment on Friday so I can hightail it home.  Then soaking up my time with my family when I'm in Austin, filling up my cup with the funny things the kids say, the way their hair smells after their bath, kisses from the kids and dogs, my wonderful bed. Then: repeat.

It's funny because it feels like a very comfortable routine now, but then I think about it, and I've been keeping busy and doing new things, both in Houston and Austin.

Still eating my way through the Bayou City.  I've been to fabulous dinners with my in-laws, and in the picture below from two weeks ago, my new Cailfornia friend Andrea (also coming in weekly for treatment), my aunt Melissa and my mom.

I haven't taken many pictures at all.  But on top of the meals, I've also had the chance to meet with Allison, a survivor who lives in Oregon.  She has been a huge support since my diagnosis, emailing, mailing letters, commenting on the blog.  Her strength, faith and service to others are inspiring.  What a treat to meet her in person!  I might be able to drop in some photos of our visit soon.

The kids and I mainly lay low on my weekends home.  I miss them so when I'm gone, and Monday nights are always the hardest as I'm gearing up for the week away.  We did go to church this weekend, and Reese had a chance to play with some friends.  Kate keeps them occupied and happy during the weeks, so I don't worry about what they are doing, I just miss being around them.

I've also made a point to get some exercise.  I am experiencing some of the common radiation side effects: fatigue, especially in the afternoons.  Redness and minor skin irritation where I am receiving the radiation.  None of it has been overwhelming and I feel pretty darn good for having five weeks of radiation under my belt!  But exercise is always a good option, so I've walked in Memorial Park, around Rice University, and at my parents' ranch. In Houston, I went to a ballroom dancing lesson with Andrea--she's a competitive dancer!  It was definitely a different and fun experience.  In Austin, I've been to Pure Barre and Zumba classes.  It's all felt great.  What a relief to move normally again, two months after major surgery.

Yesterday, I returned to the gym for Zumba and to take the kids swimming.  I had not darkened the door there since before my diagnosis in early January. So it was a milestone of sorts for me, and I'm glad to have cleared that mental and physical hurdle.  Plus it's always fun to sport the "Victorian swimsuit" look in public!

I anticipate a "quick week," as my family's (minus David, who is busy working in Chicago this month) coming down for two nights at the end of the week.  Then next week is the LAST WEEK OF TREATMENT!  Hopefully, things will continue in the positive vein they have been going and my final leg of the cancer treatment triathlon will be complete!  Happy Monday, y'all!