Full heart

It's probably somewhat ominous to write a post describing awful post-chemo bone pain and then go radio silent for over a week. I apologize if it came off that way, because truly, the opposite is true.  Last week was lovely, the kind of week that feeds your soul in so many ways. I walked almost every day with wonderful friends, through my hilly neighborhood or on the hike and bike trail, some of us pushing strollers or dragging dogs. Every time, I came away feeling bolstered by the meaningful conversations and blessed by the amazing fortune I have in my close friends.  I also met with dear family and friends for numerous lunches, dinners and even two brunches (I'm very impressed with myself for brunching twice this past weekend!), celebrating my grandmother's 92nd birthday, my dear friends' almost-here baby boy, or just meeting to spend time with each other. We went to church, watched Reese play softball, and I even made it to a Pure Barre class.  All in all, it was an outstanding week.

Throughout these many lovely conversations, questions invariably arise regarding our children and how they are managing throughout this process.  The answer is: pretty darn well.  Both kids have benefitted/are benefitting from a local nonprofit called Wonders & Worries, which has been an amazing resource.  Reese attended a six-week peer group and is eligible to join in the monthly peer groups now.  Weston is receiving one-on-one counseling sessions, where he explores a lot of the same concepts that Reese did, but in a manner tailored to his younger age.  They both thoroughly enjoy their W&W experiences.  In addition, Reese receives amazing support at her school.  She has a standing weekly appointment with the lower school counselor, but does not hesitate to seek out Ms. D at other times if she feels the need to talk. I love that she has a safe place to go, a caring adult she trusts, and enough self confidence to advocate for herself when she feels the need.  All of the faculty and staff are checking in with her, keeping an eye on her, and helping her out.  The reading specialist she works with on a daily basis has helped her articulate some concerns and sentiments that have been on her mind, resulting in some pretty amazing letters that she brings home.  The chaplain checks in with me regularly, and we have lovely conversations. Simply put, I just don't think she could possibly be in a better environment during this time. Even with all of this, she still worries and struggles with her emotions, much more so than her younger brother.  Of course, this is to be expected.  But a touching moment happened this weekend, when they both picked up the dolls that made at W&W and played together.  Reese's doll (right) is named Shelly and has cancer.  Weston's doll (or action figure, depending on who you ask) is named Knight Weston and does not have cancer.  They role played with these dolls for hours this weekend, which is so healthy in my opinion.  I also love that they can go to each other with these concerns, even if it is in a play setting.

Weston made a target out of things he does not like (apparently he told his W&W counselor that we do not use the word "hate," which makes me realize he really does listen to these little lessons!). In the inner ring are "bad guys, hitting and snakes," and the outer ring contains "lightning, guns, mean people yelling, shots, eels (?!?), cancer, and sharks." He threw wet paper balls at this target during his session.  I love this.  Such an interesting insight into his mind, and probably a cathartic exercise too.

So the short answer is, I think they are doing really well, all things considered.

I've started handing out Team Shelly shirts (when I remember them, which is apparently about half the time)! My dad and our friend Chad wore their shirts on Thursday.  It made me smile to see them wearing their shirts!  Thanks guys! 

One of my brunches this weekend was at the beautiful Green Pastures to celebrate my grandmother Margaret's 92nd birthday.  It was such a joy to celebrate her alongside my family, including the two blurs in the front row (those would be our kids)!

Finally, I met up with my cancer-fighting sister Suzi.  We had a great visit and dished all things crappy about chemo and pondered upcoming surgeries.  She gave me this hilarious gift too:

The back clarifies what the card is to be used for (warning for those averse to curse words...):

This continues to crack me up.  I am carrying it in my wallet, just in case I need to flash it to someone.  However, considering how things have been going, it seems unlikely.

Silver linings: 

Sitting at my daughter's softball game, someone commented on how the humidity was messing up their hair....and I realized I will not have to deal with frizzy hair due to Texas heat and humidity this year!  Woohoo! (However I am baffled by the continued need to shave my legs...)

Heading back down to Houston, and I am not remotely preoccupied for my upcoming chemo, just looking forward to seeing family. Even with bone pain, Taxol is so much more manageable than red devil, and I am much more relaxed in turn. And speaking of the bone pain, I called the nurse and she prescribed pain medication that will help me sleep through the harder nights right after the treatment, so I've got a plan in place for this coming treatment. 

Finding a certified oncology massage therapist in town and getting a relaxing massage today.  Not entirely the same as what I've had in the past (much less pressure and different techniques to work around the lymph nodes), but still a luxurious treat.

Planting herbs and vegetables with my son today, and watching him get excited about digging in the dirt, placing the plants in the holes, and watering the plants.  He loves gardening! What might have been something I rushed to do in the past was a much more pleasant, relaxed experience with my little helper. And hopefully will be a good memory for him as well.

More to come from Houston this week....