Update

Hi all, I have been recovering in the hospital for the last day or so.  Actually, I've been in the surgical ICU since almost immediately after my procedure.  It's not because of any complications, unless you consider a very full hospital complicated!  A room hasn't opened for me on the specialized wing yet, and while I am anxious to get into a "normal" room, the care I have received in ICU has been fantastic. The nurse to patient ratio here is 1:2, so I have gotten pretty much constant attention.  This has been helpful because Dr. Chevray said if the flaps do not take, it almost always happens in the first 24 hours. We have cleared that time period and then some, so I feel great about that.  Plus I have a self-administered drip of pain medication and I am staying on top of that! I haven't had a ton of pain, but I am pretty sore. I got out of bed and walked to a chair yesterday, which was a big milestone.

I'm so happy with the surgery results so far.  Everything looks great and there's hardly any bruising. Amazing. So far I've had some great family visitors here and I know a few of you have plans to come to Houston (or be here anyway). Please text and let me know if and when you're coming and I will get the room # to you. 

Thank you to each of you for the prayers, the support and the love.  It has made an enormous difference in all aspects of my treatment and brought me so much comfort on Tuesday morning.

Shelly is out of surgery! :)

Update from David--

 

Hi everyone,

 

Shelly is out of surgery and everything went great!  It was a smooth procedure and the surgeon said it leaned towards the "easier" side of this type of surgery because she is in such great shape.  Thank you to  the many of you who have walked by her side over the last six months, both physically and spiritually.  It made all the difference in the world and means so much to her, the children, and me.

 

There will be more to come and I'm sure Shelly will be updating the blog soon!

 

Thank you for all your prayers, they were heard!

David Bain

 

Buckle up

Well, here we are.  The night before the big day, the marathon surgery, the second leg of the Shelly-fights-cancer triathlon. The last night of having cancer in my body!  It's been a day filled with wonderful moments, nervous sighs and deep breaths, and grateful reflection.

Leading up to this day, and throughout today, there have been many, many silver linings, lots of wonderful time with friends and family.  

Lots of walks, like this one with Catherine and Michelle, two great friends:

Great chats over meals, like this lunch with Leya:

And of course I forgot to take pictures on many other occasions, which doesn't mean they are any less meaningful.  Just that the chemo fog is still in effect.  Or at least that's my story!  We had a fantastic Austin family spring birthday gathering, lunch with dear friends at a new taco spot in our neighborhood, another lunch with a sweet survivor friend from college, and an impromptu casual family dinner at our house with close friends when we were rained out of the pool.  I felt so fortunate to be able to visit with so many of those who are dear to me and who have been amazing sources of support and strength over the past months (and in some cases years!). It did feel like I was saying farewell for a year rather than three weeks at times, but it's a pretty major milestone to undergo tomorrow and one from which I will emerge transformed.

I was sad to drop off our dogs at the kennel, although they bounded in with their tails wagging (clearly they were preserving their energy on the drive over, as seen below). They love Dogtown! 

After church and doggy drop off yesterday, we came down to Houston.  We had another fantastic family gathering at Caracol. Thank you to my mom and dad for organizing and to everyone for coming out to a fun dinner.

David's parents got everyone whistles, based on a beautiful and poignant story of a man who whistled while he worked in his garden. When asked why he always whistled, the man remarked that this was the way his blind wife would always know where he was and that he hadn't gone far from her.  The whistles represent that we can always call upon each other within the family.  This is so utterly true, and has been evident throughout this process, so I absolutely appreciated the sentiment.  

And so did the kids....

The much discussed lift chair arrived at my in-laws house today. This will be key to a comfortable home recovery once I leave the hospital.  Thank you to Janise for supplying this wonderful device!

And no people, it's not a toy!  For the hundredth time!  I'm talking to you too, David!

We really had a great low key day.  I walked Memorial trail, which was fitting on Memorial Day.  I had plenty of time to reflect on the people in my family who have served our country and how much gratitude I have for them and for all who have served our country.  I am so thankful to live here and for the innumerable sacrifices that have been made.  It was not only a healthy way to start this day, but also one that put a lot of things in perspective.

Lorne led us on a "dry run" to the hospital which was so helpful and brought me a lot of peace, knowing exactly where we are going. It helped to go on a holiday, when the hospital was pretty much deserted.  After lunch and errands, we had a very delicious and low key dinner with David's parents and my parents.  My dad cooked a delicious and healthy meal, which we all thoroughly enjoyed.  I even helped myself to seconds, knowing it will be awhile before I eat again.

Now, the kids are in bed, I've taken all my "night before" meds and we are calming down for the big day ahead.  It's been a surprisingly relaxed and peaceful day. I'm hoping to continue the peaceful feelings tomorrow, to whatever extent is possible.  

As part of the work I've been doing to prepare, I will be drawing comfort from your support.  In particular, the author of one of the meditations and surgery preparation books I've read recommends specifically asking for prayers, good vibes and positive energy to be sent at a certain time.  I humbly request your healing prayers and thoughts tomorrow morning.  I am guessing I will be heading into surgery between 7:00 and 8:00 a.m., and the surgery will last 10-12 hours.  If you are able to send up a prayer for my surgery, my family and my medical team at any time tomorrow, I truly believe it will not only make a difference, but that I will also feel the power and comfort of your support, and it will help in my healing.

I won't fib, it was very hard to say goodnight to these two, knowing it will be several days before I see them. But it's a necessary absence, ensuring that I can spend many, many more healthy days and nights with them.

See you on the flip side, sweet Team Shelly members.  I love and appreciate you all!

(Someone will post an update tomorrow night....either David or Ashley)

Summer break

The kids have officially been on summer vacation for a few days now. While it's not the typical summer for our family this year, the kids are still sufficiently excited. 

I want to acknowledge the amazing teachers who taught our children this past year. What a challenging year for our family on a personal level, and what wonderful support and love our children received at school. I can't emphasize how grateful we are for each and every teacher, learning specialist, OT, administrator, counselor, clergy, coach, and any form of instructor in our lives.  I certainly don't have pictures with all of these people, but here are a few:

Reese with her 2nd grade teachers, Ms. Mouser & Ms. O'Gallagher:

And her math teacher, Ms. Hughes:

Reese's school has made sure she is fully supported from day one of hearing of my diagnosis. A lot of uncertainty has surrounded us, but one constant was the strong support net around Reese every day at school.

Likewise, Weston's school has shown tremendous and constant support for our son and our entire family. While he doesn't spend as much time at school as Reese since he's in preschool, it's been such a comfort to know that everyone was watching out for him and nurturing him through this time.

Weston, with his teachers Ms. Jackie & Ms. Gina:

We love all of the educators who touched our lives this year!

And summer means more relaxed mornings in general, as evidenced by Weston and what we like to call "dinosaur hair"!

Happy summer y'all. I'll be back on the blog once more before the big day.

Busy Bains

May.  If you have school age children, it's clearly a busy month...possibly the busiest of the year! It's been extremely hectic as we try to cram as much in as we can--field trips, end of school parties, swim team practices and meets, fun plans with friends, softball games--it's definitely exhausting, but the reality is that flying through the day at a million miles a minute has been beneficial for me.  While I maintain this brisk pace every day, my mind and body are occupied, leaving little time to linger on upcoming things.  Such as a 12-hour surgery.

But I've also done plenty, plenty of work to prepare myself.  I'm not ignoring the looming procedure or forgoing self-care at this crucial time.  In fact, it's been quite the opposite.  In addition to kiddo activities, I've loaded my schedule with all sorts of therapeutic time, both of the professional and social varieties.  I've done lots of guided imagery work with my therapist and have been regularly listening to two different surgery specific guided imagery CDs.  I have been meeting with a Stephen Minister who is also a BC survivor weekly and also met with the Asscoiate Rector at our church, both of whom have provided strong spiritual guidance for me.  I continue with acupuncture and massage sessions, make time for exercise almost daily, and run errands to procure every fathomable item I might need in the hospital or during my recovery.  I've spoken with several women, both friends and strangers who have become friends, who have undergone the same surgery. And possibly the most important and therapeutic times are those spent talking with friends. A lot of talking about the surgery, yes, but also just keeping up with what is going in in everyone's lives, what people have planned for summer, how everyone is doing. That has been such a gift, a blessing from all of my dear, sweet friends. Whether it is a quick hello or a visit over a meal, a chat in a parking lot or a longer talk on a walk, these interactions have helped me tremendously.  The support and reassurance I receive, the encouragement....it helps keep me going.

And since going like the Energizer bunny is the theme of the post....let me share a few images from the busy-ness of the last week or two!

We celebrated David's birthday last Friday with a fancy dinner, which included eyebrow raising contests, naturally.  Our kids excel at this skill.

We followed dinner with cake at home. I love this picture that my father in law captured!

Weston completed his first two swim meets.  He shaved five seconds off his freestyle time in a mere week! From 1:23 to 1:18! 

Reese performed in the second grade musical, in which students were encouraged to dress in a costume depicting part of their cultural heritage.  She chose to wear a Swedish costume to commemorate my maternal grandmother's ancestry.

She also played in the final softball game of the season.  Her skills have improved considerably this season. Go Angels!

I have--and we have--been so blessed to spend such great time with family and friends lately.  I'm not always the best about capturing these moments, and there have been so many.  But here are a few from the last two weeks.

Lunch with Sonja and Shannon...

Walking with Nicole and Alyssa....

Greta and Roscoe get support from Fay! Doodles gotta stick together, yo.

Dinner with Monique, Erin and Cathleen...

Walking again, with Nicole, Ann & William, and Alyssa & Fay...

Like I said, there have been many other fun outings: more walks with sweet friends, a great poolside family dinner, and lunches, coffees and dinners. All of these have helped me by making me more relaxed, more present, and just generally happier. Thank you to all of my friends and family. I'm about as ready as I can be for surgery on Tuesday!

Happy thoughts

Guess what I don't have to do today? That's right -- no chemo! It's been four months since I began, and for the first time since mid- January, I'm not making the trip to Houston this week for chemo. Yippee!

All symptoms have subsided, minus some fatigue, and I might have a little bit of fuzz coming in along my temples! Also a couple of new eyelashes! I'm so excited!

We have been so insanely busy, y'all. May is crazy! 

Both kids are on the neighborhood swim team, which means we are at the pool for two hours four days a week, plus the Saturday meets. It's intense and a big commitment, but they both really like it and I think it's so much fun. Reese has moved up to an older, more serious level this year and wants to swim every event possible. Weston is one of the slowest swimmers and still requires quite a bit of coach oversight, but he's convinced he "wins" each practice. I can already see a huge improvement in his skills over the past week. The first meet is this Saturday, so I will provide a full report ! 

Reese's school has had so many wonderful events. The Mother's Day tea was a few days ago. This is a picture in her fantastic math teacher's room before the party, which was so very sweet. They made us tea cups, served us fruit and muffins, wrote us poems, and there was a video presentation in which they each told why they love their mothers. So special!

Yesterday they went on a field trip to the Wildflower Center and I got to chaperone, which was a total blast! The weather was perfect, the kids enjoyed it, and we all took part in a really fun scavenger hunt. I must admit, I learned a lot during the scavenger hunt! Reese loved it and had fun with her friends!  Playing with a frog in the new Family Garden:

Posing with her great class and amazing teachers:

Next up she has Trinity Olympics! Busy and fun times.

It's helping me so much in many ways to stay so busy. The only downside is feeling worn out by afternoon/evening, but I'm definitely distracted from overthinking the surgery. I have spoken with a few people who had the same surgery recently, and all had good experiences and have given me very helpful tips. So besides busyness, I'm also exercising as much as possible and focusing on super healthy eating. I will start surgery-specific guided imagery soon too. Plus I have purchased many things that were recommended and still have a few items on my list!

 All in all, life is busy but great, and we are two weeks from the end of school and 19 days from surgery! Time is flying!

All systems go

We ventured back down to Houston this week for two days backed with pre-surgery appointments.  There's a lot to consider when you are heading into a 12-hour surgery, especially after you've been through chemo.  The red devil can damage your heart, so I stopped into the cardiologist's office for multiple tests. The nurse at my plastic surgeons's office wanted to talk about preparations, so we visited with her.  Then I registered with the anesthesiology group, which involved a blood test and chest X-ray.  And that was the first day!

David and I met with the plastic surgeon again on the second day.  He and his nurse are an amazing team, and we both feel so confident in the work that they do.  Which is good, because his part is the longest and most complicated of the surgery.  

Things we learned during our appointments: 

-I will likely be placed in ICU for 1-2 days immediately following the surgery, which is the critical time to determine whether the flaps "take" or not.

-We will have a pretty good idea if the flaps take or not by the second day.  The failure rate the is only 1%, and half the time Dr. C can come back in and rectify the clotting or whatever is keeping the flap from properly connecting. He only has about one surgery fail each year, which I feel confident will NOT be me.

-Dr. C has performed about 900 of these procedures. He generally does 90 or so DIEP flap reconstructions a year, mainly in tandem with the surgeon performing my mastectomy, Dr. L.

-The two surgeons were discussing my case during a recent surgery, wondering why they had been meeting with me so early. Apparently patients generally meet with them much closer to the actual surgery date. On some level, it pleases me to know they were chatting about my case! I'm on their minds, even if my early-bird behavior is somewhat baffling.

-I will move from ICU to a very specialized wing of Methodist, where the nurses are specifically trained to handle recovery from DIEP flap. I will be in the hospital for five days, most likely.

-I plan to stay in Houston 2-3 weeks after I'm released from the hospital to be close to my surgeons and doctor for follow up appointments, of which there are several! This will be the first part of my "summer in Houston," as I will be back down again shortly after surgery for radiation.

David and I both realized how fortunate we have been this far in dealing with kind and courteous professional staffs, especially in my oncologist's and plastic surgeon's office, where the staff and nurses are really above and beyond.  Once you are accustomed to top notch treatment, it can be, um, difficult to adjust.  We did have a couple of hiccups when we were dealing with the huge cardiology group, but in the end, everything worked out fine and I was able to get the necessary testing without having to set up additional appointments.  And the best news is....all the test results have come back normal!  I am cleared for surgery on May 27th!

I will continue to see a cardiologist in Austin for the next several years to monitor any possible long term damage, but at this time, everything looks good.  It's simultaneously wonderful and slightly terrifying to realize that the surgery is a go, and the next big thing on my schedule!  Part of me is really just ready to have it behind me, but I also know that that date will be here before I know it.  So I will keep my mind and body busy with some surgery preparations, but also end of school events, swim team practices and meets, and the multiple other kids' activities that are so prevalent during this busy time of year. And on that note, I have two Waves swimmers that need to be reminded to change for practice!  Hope you are all having a great spring week!