A fresh start

I've been putting off writing this post, not because of any particular reason or event. Well, except for the busy-ness of everyday life. I just keep pushing it to the back burner, thinking about writing and then running off to attend to some aspect of my normal back-to-school life, now that I'm back with my family in Austin.

I also worry that I don't have enough to report, or that it will seem disjointed, or that I need to have a more concrete event to cover. Except that I did return to Houston last week to visit with my oncologist, and beyond cancer (or in my case, the end of it!), there have been other interesting things going on that I'd love to share.

So here I am, finally sitting down to blog about appointments and other hodgepodge aspects of life that happen when I'm not receiving treatment, seeing a doctor or otherwise obsessing about my health.  Honestly, my well-being has become somewhat of an obsession over the past eight months, which was such a shift from caring for small children and focusing almost entirely on their well-being.  Now, I'm trying to figure out how to shift back into my normal life while also maintaining this newly-heightened focus on my own health and self-care, because it really will need to be an ongoing theme in my life. 

Seeing my oncologist confirmed this. From now on, I only go in for check-ups every six months.  When he told me I would see him in six months, I have to admit, it was a combination of mixed emotions on my end.  Exciting and frightening. His reasoning for the considerable time between appointments is that he prefers cancer not to be at the constant forefront of my thoughts, and coming in to his office more often would not allow my mind to gradually wander away from it. And rather than ordering numerous scans and tests, we will rely somewhat on twice-annual blood tests and exams, but mainly on my own vigilance with unusual symptoms.  This will take some getting used to, as I had some dizziness combined with a headache a few weeks ago and had pretty much convinced myself I had a brain tumor.  Of course it went away after a few days, and what I need to watch for will be symptoms that persist or worsen over the course of a week or two.  I'm afraid that every little ache and pain will heighten me to a code-red state, but I don't think there's any way to avoid that, at least as I transition into this next phase.

I will continue on with the monthly Lupron injection in conjunction with the daily Letrozole.  The symptoms from these drugs really aren't much different that what I was already experiencing after chemo.  The hot flashes haven't gotten much worse and while my joints get stiff, it doesn't last more than 20-30 seconds at this point.  So far, it's all very manageable.  In addition to the meds, twice a day I take large handfuls of "horse pills"--various vitamins and supplements that will hopefully help keep me in the "healthy survivor" category or at least encourage optimum health. And of course, a very clean and healthy diet and regular exercise are part of the plan.

But the plan is also just enjoying being at home.  Sometimes "enjoying" might be a stretch…for example, as we rush out the door to get to school, and backpacks and lunches have been forgotten, and everybodygetinthecarRIGHTnow --well, it's kind of organized chaos. But luckily that isn't the norm and mainly it's been wonderful to be back in my routine.  Reese has started third grade, and I have the feeling that she is going to have a fantastic year.  Weston begins his final year of preschool this week, and again--I have a great feeling about this year for him as well.  While we kind of have one foot in the school year and another still in summer, it's hard not to be excited about the opportunities and promise that the fresh start of a new school year brings.  I have a whole new appreciation for fresh starts this year!

On that note, it is also helpful to think back on the happy memories we have made at times. Reese had an absolutely wonderful first camp experience.  She drew the tribe she wanted, she made great friends, she explored, learned more about herself and generally had a blast.  Weston was an only child for a couple weeks and adapted just fine.  He was happy to see her, despite appearances below….

The first day of school.  She was excited and ready to go!  That's my girl.

Weston and I have had some nice relaxed time together, for which I am grateful.  

I've gotten back to my regular walks (with friends and on my own), and made a few of the Pure Barre classes that I love, including one with the fabulous Kathryn.  She has been a wonderful support during my treatment and I was thrilled to be back in her class!

And of course, time with my great friends.  I met up with some of my high school and college friends--Erin, Monique, Ashley and Cathleen--for dinner.  I always cherish our time together and was glad to get back into the regular GNO schedule after a crazy summer.

And Suzi and I finally got together for lunch.  We met at this great tea restaurant for our first lunch together back in January, when we were both on the evil AC chemo regimen.  We were both nervously wearing our wigs in those early weeks, pale and slightly nauseous from chemo aftershocks.  So it was fitting we returned to the same restaurant to celebrate that both of us are done with treatments (minus a very minor follow up surgery for both of us--Suzi on Wednesday and me next spring, most likely) and have a little bit of fuzzy hair.  It was great for us to catch up and gab away.  I am sure the man dining solo next to us walked away shocked if he was eavesdropping!

This week, my baby boy goes back to preschool, and then we can truly say we are started into the school year.

Next week, I return to Houston to have my final meeting with the radiation oncologist and another follow up with my plastic surgeon.  Hopefully, both will go well and I will know when my final "touchup" surgery will occur.  I will update again shortly after these appointments! Hears to fresh starts!