My rock

It's going to sound odd, but sometimes I'm grateful for some of the changes cancer has brought to my life.  Even as I wind my way out of the latest treatment and deal with the achy bones yet again, along with some mild developing neuropathy in my left hand, I'm generally feeling grateful.  And happy. Sure, it's nice to have 3/4 of my chemo treatments behind me and to receive such great news about the progress we are making.  But I'm also hyper aware of everything in my life for which I am thankful right now.  I'm making a concerted effort not to get too caught up in the minor stresses of daily scheduling, especially when we are running late (or "on Weston time," as we like to call it in our household). I'm certainly not 100% successful in releasing my stressed out tendencies but I am trying!  I'm also trying to be a little easier on myself these days.  I simply can't do it all but I feel less pressure to try, and that's okay.

Instead, I find myself catching little moments throughout the day that are delightful, when the kids do something hilarious or say something thoughtful, for example.  In the past, I would have smiled and moved on when these lovely moments happened, but now it's almost impossible for me not to stop and mentally acknowledge everything good that is happening.  Maybe it's a cliche of living with a disease that can be fatal, but since I've been diagnosed with cancer, life seems less rushed (well, mainly) and generally sweeter in a sense.

And a huge part of this is due to the strong relationship I have with my wonderful husband, David.  Certainly, it's not easy for him to have to deal with this load.  The stress of the diagnosis, the difficulty of the treatments, plus taking on a lot more of the home load has added a lot to his plate.  Of course, it's been difficult in many ways.  But he is helping me get through every step of this journey, holding my hand and often making me laugh uncontrollably (that helps so very much).

And often times, the only thing that you really can do is laugh.  Like when we decided to go on a walk at the ranch this last weekend and wandered in looking like this:

That is some seriously unplanned coordination!

And the joke about looking more and more like your spouse the longer you have been together?  Never gets old, friends!

My bedtime routine is pretty racy these days, let me warn you.  In addition to wearing my cozy sleeping cap, I've been slathering on all sorts of oils and creams and covering my feet and hands in fuzzy socks and gloves in an effort to avoid neuropathy. Lucky, lucky David.

But the best comment came the other night.  We were laughing about all of the sleep paraphernalia I now wear, and as he turned off the light, David softly said, "It's kind of like going to bed with the Hamburger Helper...."

I haven't laughed that hard or long for months.  It was exactly the silly, crazy thing I needed to hear at that moment.

So, as I go along this path, I am trying to focus on gratitude and appreciating all of the good moments, at least as much as is possible or makes sense.  I'm thankful for my wonderful and supportive family, my bright and daring kids, and my caring and hysterical husband.  Because sometimes goofy skillet meal jokes and really poorly executed selfies are all you need at the moment!  Life is good indeed.